Loving Others, Even When It’s Hard

Loving Others, Even When It’s Hard

Key Verse: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." – Ephesians 4:32 (WEB)

Some days, loving others feels as natural as breathing. A friend goes out of their way to help you, a stranger smiles and holds the door, or your family gathers around the table for a peaceful meal. But then there are the hard days. You know the ones—when someone cuts you off in traffic, snaps at you for no reason, or wounds you so deeply that the thought of extending kindness feels impossible. Loving others, even when it’s hard, isn’t just a lofty ideal. It’s a call from God, and if we’re honest, it’s one of the most challenging things we’re asked to do.

I remember a time in the military, when a coworker bucking for promotion repeatedly undermined my efforts, to try to make himself look good in front of our Commander. My initial reaction was to fight back, but I let it go, but that didn't stop me from venting to my pastor, on Saturday, as we prepared for Sunday's services. He said something that stopped me cold: "You know, they might be acting out of their own hurt. Have you prayed for them?"

Ouch. I hadn’t even considered prayer—at least not the genuine kind. Maybe a quick, “Lord, change their heart,” but certainly nothing that came from a place of compassion. That evening, I reluctantly prayed for my coworker. At first, it felt forced, but over time, God softened my heart. While their behavior didn’t immediately change, my perspective did. I began to see them not as my adversary but as someone in need of grace, just like me.

Jesus models this for us in the most extraordinary way. As He hung on the cross, battered and mocked, He didn’t retaliate. Instead, He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). That kind of love defies human logic, but it’s the kind we’re called to emulate. When we lean into God’s strength, He enables us to love even when it feels impossible.

But how do we get there in the everyday messiness of relationships? Here are a few things I’ve learned:

Pause and Pray: Before reacting in frustration or hurt, take a moment to breathe and pray. Ask God for wisdom and the ability to see the situation through His eyes.

Remember Grace: None of us are perfect. Just as God has extended His unending grace to us, we’re called to extend it to others. Keeping this truth at the forefront can shift our hearts from judgment to compassion.

Set Boundaries with Love: Loving someone doesn’t mean tolerating harmful behavior. It’s okay to set healthy boundaries while still showing kindness and praying for them.

Choose Forgiveness: Forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone’s actions or pretending the hurt didn’t happen. It’s about releasing the burden to God and refusing to let bitterness take root in your heart.
The truth is, loving others isn’t something we can muster on our own. It requires us to stay rooted in God’s love and to draw from His infinite well of patience and mercy. When we remember how deeply we’re loved by Him, even at our most unlovable, it becomes a little easier to extend that love to others.

So the next time someone tests your patience or wounds your heart, take it as an opportunity to lean into God’s strength. He’s not asking you to love perfectly; He’s asking you to reflect His love faithfully. One act of kindness, one prayer of forgiveness, and one choice to see someone through His eyes can make all the difference.